In the past few weeks, the underground railroad passage referred to as the trench had expansion plans which included an underground city hall, graveyard, and connecting metro. Now new plans include an aircargo terminal and the relocation of the Mustard Ranch.
The Ranch is considered a major coup for the underground facility since many of the services provided by the Ranch will have effects similar to current area proposals. Guidelines will be drawn to regulate pricing and taxation for all underground entities. This new regulatory agency will be known as Ground-Air-Rail Bureau Authority for General Entities (GARBAGE).
To celebrate the completion of the trench, a statue of the mayor has been proposed placed over the exciting underground facility, and Bobby Kneivel may be invited to make a jump. One problem is that the statue will be located in the most pigeon-infested area; however, a hefty new county-wide tax proposal will assure a sparkling, clean downtown--both above and below ground levels. How fortunate we are to have such exciting plans in our future!

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Reno's Last "ditch" Plans for
Redevelopment...
Including a RATS Route

The idea of a new city hall, as suggested recently by our visionary
mayor, could be an excellent idea for downtown Reno. Because of extensive
research and planning for the proposed trench, I suggest that the new city
hall be incorporated into an underground campus built into the trench
facility. There will be plenty of public money available for the project
thanks to the Las Vegas assembymen's vote that ensured we Washoe County
taxpayers be required to pay the additional taxes.
In addition, money could be raised for some of the project by additional
chambers which could be used as underground burial plots. How comforting
it will be to know that one can rest for eternity nestled in a subterranian
vault next to Reno's famous underground city hall. What publicity this will
create.
Tourists will flock to Reno to take tours into the trench. Downtown will
be known as the Biggest Little Trench City!
I can't wait to propose this to the City Council.
Pat Puchert

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More:
Yesterday I addressed the mayor's request for a new downtown city hall and
expressed my complete support of the facility. I felt that the new city hall
could be integrated into a subterranean district created by expansion of the
trench. The underground district would incorporate the downtown train
tracks, the new city hall, and a new cemetery.
After more contemplation I also decided to include the supposedly much
needed downtown Convention Center as part of this subterranean district.
Today's paper gave me the excellent idea that this underground district
should incorporate the idea of an enterprise zone and allow complete freedom
for all developers where all zoning restrictions would be eliminated. I
envision this to create the unique subterranean district where one could move
from one area of the zone to the next with complete freedom. I envision the
new city hall and Convention Center to include burial chambers as part of
their unrestricted schemes. This way one could apply for a city license,
attend a new car show and visit a relative's grave at the same time in the
same area.
I continue to be amazed at the ideas behind Redevelopment. Of course
extensive new studies and first class visitations must be made to areas where
such redevelopment exists. There is plenty of taxpayer's money available
thanks to the passage of recent state legislation known as the trench bill.
I look forward to the completion of this downtown subterranean project with
its unique features. This will certainly put the City of Reno back on the
map!
Pat Puchert

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In light of last week's special report from the business and economic sector
rejecting the proposal of the downtown trench, we understand that the Reno
City Council may now apply for federal funds to offset the costs for all
operational liabilities assured by the city and releasing all
responsibilities from the railroad company.
This week the City Council, in an overnight move, arranged for zoning changes
at the Double Diamond Apartment project thereby assuring low cost housing
for the newly developed area.
Since there is no public transportation or public services presently
at Double Diamond, it is rumored that the City Council plans to announce new
plans to extend its downtown trench southward through Reno and terminate at
the low cost housing project at Double Diamond. Because federal funding is
anticipated, the extended project will now be known as the Reno Area Trench
system or RATS.
The City Council may suggest a contest to integrate both Rats and the city
government and have them incorporated in a new logo so when
citizens think of downtown redevelopment, a picture of the City Council and
RATS will come to mind.
We understand the trench system will have two classes of transportation--
first class for members of the City Council and Convention Authority, and
coach class for the taxpayers.
Pat Puchert

Read the Official Trench Investigation Report

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Resolution To Expose Reno City Hall Arrogance and Demand "A Say" in the Rail Road Ditch Scheme by Sam Dehné

Reno city hall (once again) has portrayed its mendacious audaciousness by trying to totally eliminate the citizens of Washoe County from its ever-more common process of squandering citizens taxes. This time they are thumbing their noses (big red ones) at, not only their own citizens, but at the citizens of Washoe County.

Reno city hall staff and hired mouthpieces say that the scheme to dig a ditch through the middle of Reno (which is smack dab in the middle of Washoe County) is none of Washoe citizens' business.

This is disconjerkutigulated baloney government... more typical moronic Reno logic. Washoe citizens will be paying $$$millions of tax dollars to subsidize this irrational manipulation of democracy. A resolution to confront this silliness has been prepared for the County Commission and for Reno city hall.

The latest scheme to protect themselves against an historical inability to control the cost of these never-ending boondoggles (just a few examples are the Bowling Stadium and the Airport Baggage Claim debacles that overbudgeted themselves more than 100%)... has them concocting a new perversion and calling it "Design Build". It gives these bureaucrats carte blanche to waste more and more taxes... dig, build, grimace and then tax to compensate for blunders. The term is pure subterfuge and should be called "Blank-Check Tax-And-Scam-As-You-Go Project Funding".

Citizens can read an in-depth report about the RR project at http://www.renocitizen.com/crookedRR.htm (click)

The Resolution:

WHEREAS, Reno city manager, Charles McNeely has gone on record by saying that Washoe County has no special expertise, no financial interest, and no decision making authority over the Reno RR Ditch Project, and
WHEREAS, the Reno RR Ditch Project will in fact be heavily financed (directly and indirectly) by Washoe County citizens, and
WHEREAS, Reno city hall does not appear to understand the tremendous financial consequences to all residents of northern Nevada, and
WHEREAS, Reno citizens are also Washoe citizens and,
WHEREAS, Washoe government has an obligation to protect its citizens from harm... including harm caused by Reno government,
WHEREAS, Reno city hall is once again catering to special interests.

THEREFORE BE IT RESOLVED, that Washoe County demands an Environmental and Community Impact Study of its own - to be paid for by Reno city hall and Reno RR Ditch Project funds, and
BE IT FURTHER RESOLVED, that Washoe County is to immediately issue a Statement of Alarm to all citizens of northern Nevada concerning the arrogance of Reno city hall with regard to its refusal to follow the dictates of honorable and fair government.
BE IT FURTHER RESOLVED, that Reno city council will henceforth attend council meetings wearing clown suits and big red noses.

Note: This is not meant to reflect derogatorily upon clowns.

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